Change is Hard. Until You Do It.

I moved to Harlem this month. I was a WRECK.

For almost two years, I lived in Hell's Kitchen, the gayest neighborhood in NYC. Well, one of them. I had a studio apartment and lived by myself. My situation was almost perfect. Except that it cost an arm and a leg. To live where you want to live in NYC is a very expensive proposition.

So I decided that I would initiate the two-month-notice rider in my lease and cancel it. The responsible decision. So responsible, but so hard. About two weeks before I moved, it became real. I hired movers, started thinking about packing. The next week, I was a wreck. Two days before the move, I was on the verge of tears all day. What was I doing? Was this the right decision? Can I be happy somewhere else? Can I LIVE with someone else? Will I still be creative? What if I get inspired in the middle of the night? Worry consumed me.

Until literally, the moment I stepped into the new apartment with the movers in my wake. Suddenly, everything was okay. I was here. I was ready. I could start to set up. To unpack. Reimagine my life in someplace new, someplace different. Time for new experiences. Time to ride the subway again.

As an artist, it sucks, but we're always looking for new experiences. New perspectives. No matter what they are. Painful ones, hard ones, joyful ones, whatever can kick our brains into overdrive. And change is tough. It really killed me.

But the lesson here, I think, is that change isn't hard. Anticipation is hard. Unknowing is hard. But once you get there, your brain finds new paths, it finds a way. You accept it and start doing. it's in the doing that frees you from the worry. I remembered on the subway ride up to my new place that I felt the exact same way when I moved to Hell's Kitchen. Even though it was definitely where I wanted to live. How did I remember? I found a note that my next door neighbor left on my door when I moved in to my HK apartment. She left it for me with a bag of Amy's Bread. It said, "Hope this makes your move a little easier. Welcome to the neighborhood!" and the stress that I felt melted away. The worry died off.

So remember. Next time you make a big change, know that you'll be fine. We're resilient beings. And we'll make it if we try.

I AM GLOBAL WARMING. Part One.

Well, this is embarrassing.

Growing up, my parents made me practice good dental hygiene. But the prevailing feeling was, DEFINITELY brush in the morning, MAYBE brush at night and flossing is just a SUGGESTION. I also had (and have) perfect teeth. Me going into a dentist's office is like Stockard Channing going into a plastic surgeon's office. "Ooooo! Look at those teeth! You must have had braces. No!? Oh my goodness, Charlene get in here!" Feels good. So, if I have perfect teeth, those "flossing" rules don't apply to me. Except after popcorn and/or BBQ ribs.

So I lived my life. People may have suggested that things would get worse, but I thought nothing of it. I'm special. My teeth are stronger. Perfect. Different. But my dentist's suggestions to floss quickly turned into strong urgings. Then they brought on the disease talk. "You'll get Gingivitis!" " You'll need surgery!" "Nothing will ever be the same again!"

But I didn't HAVE Gingivitis. I was just closer than ever to getting it. No big. Besides, what do Dentists know? They're just trying to sell me dental work. They're nothing more than used car salesmen. So I stopped going altogether. Partially because I didn't have dental insurance anymore, and partially because I really didn't like the dentist I was going to. And I hadn't heard of ZOC DOC yet. (Thanks facebook!)

But then my mouth started to hurt. Specifically, the molars on my right side. Eating a Caesar Salad felt like I was shoving rocks in between my teeth. So I made an appointment with a dentist. Using ZOC DOC! I went to my appointment, they cleaned my teeth, looked at my X-Rays, and...

Turns out I need a root canal. And root canals cost $4000. And my insurance won't cover it. Well, they'll cover $1000 of it. Maybe. After a 45-day approval process. During which my tooth will only get worse. Great. Some decay that could have easily been destroyed with floss had been eating away at my tooth, getting closer and closer to the root. I denied, denied, denied. Tried flossing for maybe a week and a half at a time. But it took so much TIME. And it was hard to reach the back teeth! And the flossers hurt my GUMS. Well, now that my tooth is destroyed, eaten away by decay on the inside, I'm definitely going to be flossing. But... it's destroyed. But I'm definitely flossing.

Oh, and on a related note, ocean levels definitely aren't rising.