"I'm always just a complicated phone messaging system away!"
"So, you want to be a member of Netflix. Great! First, pick a plan. I'd go with the Paramount plan because they had so many Blockbusters this year. Gonna be a GREAT value. Only $30/month. I know that might seem a bit high but I LOVE Paramount movies and you will too. And that premium makes each individual Paramount movie cost only $13 rather than the $30 you'd have to pay with no plan at all. Sound expensive? Don't worry. Paying that $30/month limits your yearly movie-expenses to $1000. What a deal, right? And if you end up reaching your limit, TV shows are marked down from $180/season to $5! If it's cable. Network shows are $13. But boy, will you reach your deductible quick! Then it's all free! Except the TV shows. For the rest of the year. Then it resets.
Word of warning, if Paramount worked on a movie with a smaller studio, you better make sure that smaller studio is also covered. But don't worry, you'll find out when they send you a bill in the mail about a month after you watched the movie. You can deal with it then."
Would you buy this plan? Would you even use Netflix? No! Of course not! It's needlessly complicated and you probably would be very careful about what movies you watch. So why do we make something that's WAY more important than Netflix work like this? If I have a health problem, I shouldn't be wondering if I should get it checked out because I don't have the money. Right? RIGHT??
