I got an offer to have my birthday party at BERLIN this year. Berlin is a gay party at a normally straight club in Hell's Kitchen in NYC. No cover? Fantastic! My own table? Great! Free champagne? I'm there! So I had a gathering of my friends over at my Hell's Kitchen abode for chatting, music videos, drinking and Oculus Rift. A friend even brought cupcakes! Which I thought they banned at Hell's Kitchen Customs, so I was happy to have them. What I didn't expect was to encounter a dark underbelly of David Lynchian proportions.
I'm 30 years old. I used to be a pushover. I used to think things like, "This time, it'll be different!" Until I realized that is almost never the case. One example of this, is letting guys spend the night. Beforehand, it sounds amazing. So romantic and loving. Someone to cuddle, someone to hold. It'll be like heaven except without the dying first. But in reality, there are issues. Issues that are going to make me hate you. Here's why.
Burying is made possible by the dumb way Apple’s Messages app is set up. You see a total of seven people at any given time when you open up Messages, sorted by who has texted you recently, or who you’ve texted recently. If you're vague with your promises to "hang soon", then voila! They don’t necessarily have anything to say back and you are OUT of the seven. You’ve effectively Buried yourself.
HOMO FOMO is the worst. It’s a Thursday night. You just came home from a date with a Cute Boy You Really Like™. His name is Tristan, so you’re pretty sure you can find him on Facebook, even without his last name. As you scroll up to the Search bar, the People You May Know section catches your eye....
We had a classic not-my-type triangle. I was into the guy who wasn't into me, but was into Michael who wasn't into him. But like, HOW could Michael not find this guy attractive, it made no sense to me.
